"You Know Something Is Wrong..."
Thursday, June 10, 2010
I was watching the Matrix the other day and was struck by some of the dialogue between Morphus and Neo, just before he takes the blue pill.
"You know something. What you know you cannot explain.
You know something is wrong, but you don't know what it is...but you can feel it.
It's like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad..."
That pretty much sums up my thoughts on church the past couple of years. I used to love to go and participate and connect with God...but now everything feels so rehearsed, rigid, and regimented, lacking the very relational lifeblood I need in the spiritual and physical. It goes something like this:
Worship (3 fast, 3slow)
Greeting
Announcements
Tithe
Message
Prayer
Go home and next week do it again.
I have been in churches all over the country now, and with few variances it is the same thing...every Sunday. I have been around long enough to know how to look, behave and when to smile, raise my hand, and say "Good to see you".
But I want more than that. I want a real connection with Jesus and His presence, not something manufactured by smoke machines and high-voltage bands playing the latest Hillsong United hit.
Is there a way to really connect with people, live life together, grow in my relationship with Jesus inside what has become institutional church?
I haven't experienced it yet. So for now the splinter remains, and this unshakeable feeling that... something is wrong.
5 comments:
Maybe that's because we're not meant to church the churched. I felt the same way until I made the move to impact a people other than the churched - a place where my faith was challenged, tested, and refined, and molded; a place where I have to defend my values and the truths of which I have no problem fighting for. My friend, our discomfort w/ the church is the churched. But only because, I feel, we're (people like you and I, who sense a calling greater than what we can imagine, but we haven't just put our finger on it), here to show what it means to live a Jesus-relationship hand-in-hand with the people who need to see Jesus first-hand, and have a first-hand experience w/ Jesus himself. May the Jesus in you, shine before all men; not just the churched. Go and be free, knowing that maybe at least for this season, church isn't our 'ministry' - the world is. So in essense, St. Francis knew what she was talking about - Preach - and if necessary, use words! Live on living on! God bless brother!
You know we've had this talk quite a few times. I still battle it myself and starting to come to grips that the larger you get you can't act like the small intimate church. There needs to be that outlet for the Holy Spirit to work intimately among the few. I think that is the premise and importance of small groups the larger the church gets altogether. The Holy spirit CAN work in the larger meetings but I don't think it looks the same.
The larger it gets, the more "controlled" the service is. You just can't go on a whim in a larger setting. Order is some what of a must.
I am definitely trying to figure it out myself because I have felt the same way. I;m just starting to see it now a little different.
Kevin,
I miss our conversations...what you were saying I think is the point as well, why does it have to be big? It seems we have an obsession with bigger is better or more people means more success. But you're absolutely right the Holy Spirit can be more restricted (by us) in a larger service.
I think small is the new big. You grow more when you have more contact and everyone participates, than a few people doing most of it. I appreciate your thoughts.
Charlie,
Those are words of wisdom my friend!
Yes, you may be onto something. Small is the new big. I so agree with that!
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